Wednesday, October 28, 2009

it's a bad sign when. . .

you're hoping to keep everyone well enough to get their flu shots on Friday. . .especially, if the odds are looking slim.

Stay healthy and pray with me that my little asthmatic will get her dose of the H1N1 flu vaccine (or Hiney flu--get it H1N1--Hiney?, as one of our hospital volunteers called it). . .or better yet, that she will not get sick this winter. Period.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

not one of our better parenting moments*

***Warning: This post is the least family-friendly post I've ever posted. You might NOT want to let your kiddos read this. You know, do as I say and not as I do. . .***

I let Kyler listen to a song that was questionable in nature. OK, not so questionable. It was inappropriate. I let him listen to the song by the Zac Brown band titled "Toes in the Sand." The song begins "I've got my toes in the water, *ss in the sand. . ."

(In my defense, I'm in desperate need of a vacation, and the song makes me feel like I'm on a beach somewhere. . .)

I know. Who knew he was actually listening to this stuff. . .

Anyway, after explaining that he could listen to it but he had to sing it the edited-for-radio version (toes in the water, toes in the sand. . .), I stupidly thought all was well.

Until we got to the phrase about rolling a big fat one.

Yup. You read that right.

Of course, he wanted to know what that meant. I used the age old response of all parents who are chicken: "Ask your dad!"

I then mentioned to Kev that this was coming.

Kev & Kyler had some daddy-son time this weekend, whereupon they discussed rolling a big fat one. Yes, we are JUST LIKE the Cosby family. . .

Apparently, it means you roll a big fat girl across the sand at the beach.

I'm not sure what's worse: the answer Kev gave, the fact that that answer was way better than what I would have said, or the fact that I let him listen to such an inappropriate song in the first place. . .

So, if you can, please resist calling DHS long enough to tell me about your uh-oh parenting moment. Please? And I'm totally available to babysit anytime. . .

Monday, October 26, 2009

weight loss fail

So, these days I'm a long ways from skinny, but I have managed to get in better shape, build some muscle, and lose some weight (18 pounds and quite a few inches...) by working out and going to a trainer. As I'm working out on Friday, a co-worker comes walking through the area. . .

She: Oh, you're still working out?
Me: Yeah. [sweating and lunging and talking simultaneously]
She: Huh. So, you must think it's working, huh?
Me: Yeah, I guess so. [laughing]

Friday, October 23, 2009

just another day in our crazy lives

Kyler had his last football practice of the year last night. Then, we managed to eat (LOTS) at the local Mexican food establishment. As we left, I thought out loud about having forgotten to go to the bathroom. I was laughing as I said, "How can someone FORGET to go to the bathroom?" Kyler replied, "It's easy. I do it all the time!" And he does.

Kady's at her grandma's, eating Popsicles for breakfast on this chilly morning. She was adamant that she ALWAYS has Popsicles for breakfast. She doesn't. I promise.

I'm off to another busy day at work, and one more weekend of working. . .(3rd in a row) Have a great weekend!! Go Hogs go!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

question of the day

Creepy or friendly: "friending" your son's teacher on Facebook?

Just wonderin'. : )

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

just my luck. . .

Kyler played peewee football this season for the first time. It has been a real learning experience for his whole team. They've went from knowing nothing about football to playing some really good ball. I have thoroughly enjoyed watching him play.


(This is the part he'll kill me for later.)

Winning has been one of the lesser skills we've learned. We've learned how to lose gracefully and not so gracefully. We've learned how to lose close games and "wow-is-that-the-score-and-how-did-they-get-that-many-points?" games. Actually, we only won one game.

Until last night.

Something clicked. I don't know what. I don't know what was different. . .(except my son carried the ball three times for three first-downs, thank-you-very-much! Not that that was the only difference, but. . .) Those boys just played awesome.

Now, you might remember that I'm a huge Razorback fan. [screaming "woo pig sooie" in background] We only get two tv channels, so I've had to make do with listening to football games on the radio. I've listened to almost every game, and I did spend last weekend glued to the tv as we ALMOST beat Florida. (I know "almost" doesn't count, but DUDE, it was this close!!!)

I was SO excited to spend this weekend at my own house watching the Hogs demolish Mr. [mutters under breath] Nutt. (Mr. Nutt used to be our head coach, but then he became a traitor and Petrino became our SUPERMAN coach. Caught up yet?) This is a HUGE game. SO excited. . .

Kyler's football team now plays at the same time as the Hogs. [sigh] You know I'll be watching my boy, but. . .GO HOGS!!!

Lesson learned: Never say your plans out loud. The universe has a way of demolishing your plans. . .

Friday, October 16, 2009

the other woman in my husband's life

I realized today that my bloggy friends haven't met my husband's other love. This is his dog, Maddie. Maddie is an English Springer Spaniel and still a puppy. She lives with my hubs during the week and with all of us on the weekends. She is spoiled rotten and sometimes a pain in the neck, but she's really good for Kev. She gives my hubs somebody to come home to, somebody to play with, and most importantly sometimes, a way to distract him from what he's missing at home. I am sometimes jealous of my husband's four-legged gal (never thought I'd say that!), but I'm also really glad she's there for him. Please say hello to Maddie.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

simplifying my life

Life's kicking my rear these days. In an attempt to regain some control, I've decided to simplify my life. After much thought, these are the things bringing me stress, so I've decided to get rid of a few of them in order to live a stress-free life.

Classified Ad #1:

2 kids. slightly used. apparently disciplined little. no tricks, mostly housebroken, and great company--never a dull minute. great deal. owner financing possible. no trades considered. interested? call me.
Ad #2
Antique, classic matched set of parents. Very independent and head-strong. Not for beginners. Requires attention. Comes with great insurance. Matched set of in-laws also available--call for details.
Ad #3
Cozy home available. Decorated in comfortable, lived-in, tornado-blew-through style. Comes with own set of dirty dishes and dirty laundry. will consider all trades that come with hired help (maid/gardener, etc.). Great possibilities for ad #1.
Ad #4
2006 SUV available. umpteen million miles. no major outside damage (thanks to the thousands spent at the body shop after that darn deer ran in front of me. . .). inside decorated in we-live-in-it style (no extra cost!!). Outside currently decorated with 3 inches of dirt/mud. will consider clean up for right price. CALL TODAY!!!
That's it. That's all I can find to rid myself of stress, so until someone calls/contacts me about above, it looks like I'll continue to be one step away from checking myself into a place with padded walls. . .And this post is totally intended as a joke. I would never consider trading my kids or my parents. After all, have you seen some of the other options out there?!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

on my soapbox again

Apparently, David Letterman engaged in some inappropriate behavior with female coworkers. Now, he's apologized. Millions tuned in to hear his apology. Basically, he had the best ratings CBS has turned in for awhile. At what point do we stop rewarding bad boys for behaving like bad boys? At what point do men behaving badly face repercussions for their actions? Yes, he made a mistake, and we're all going to make mistakes. However, there just seems to be an air of laissez faire permeating our society these days. Of course, I suppose many generations could say this (the ages of speak easies and Woodstock come to mind).

Maybe I'm just a little introspective over the idea of turning the big. . .oh, never mind. My question to those of you around my age (child bearing/rearing age): Are we making a difference in the world? I'm an idealist who likes to "fix" everything. Things I should leave to God are things I end up trying to fix. We all know how that turns out. . .However, I think every generation tries to make the world a better place for their offspring. Are we doing that? Are we truly making a difference in the world around us? Two (go HERE and HERE for more info) of my favorite bloggers recently blogged about fairly small steps they've taken with their families to impact our world. What are you doing? Do you think we can ever "fix" the world? What are you teaching your children to care passionately about? Discuss amongst yourselves now. Go.

Monday, October 5, 2009

like mother like son

My son can be a little blonde. I have no idea where he gets it. Then again, I once walked into a glass door, leaving lipstick prints on it. The glass door was in my small hometown at my mother's place of employment. Can we all say, "SMOOTH?!" I guess he comes by it naturally.

This weekend, we were attempting to turn into a bank parking lot. It was impossible. Apparently, you can't turn in if you're travelling west, but if you go up one block, double back, and travel to the east end of the parking lot, you can get there. Got that?

After finally pulling up to the ATM, I said, "I've never been so confused in my life."

To which my son replied, "Boy, I have."

Thursday, October 1, 2009

pleading the fifth

My mother-in-law has a job that sometimes entails putting ads in newspapers. (Not THOSE kind of ads!) Anyway, she recently put an ad in a non-English newspaper, and this is the email she received.

Um, no comment.

If you're having trouble reading the email (sorry--I just can't get it big enough without distorting it!), the body says

Good afternoon Donna, this is the ad that we will run this Thursday, October 1, please let me know if everything is ok.

Thank you for your bossiness and having a wonderful afternoon.