I'm sorry/You're welcome

If you know me at all, you know my drugs of choice are cheesecake, chocolate, and Diet Dr. Pepper. Recently, I've been introduced to a new version of drug, more specifically a new candy bar. It is a candy bar so rich and scrumptious that you will not be able to resist. If you're partial to your size 6 jeans, run away now. If you want to experience the chocolaty goodness that I now need a daily fix of, BEHOLD. . .Seriously, I feel like I'm pushing the chocolate equivalent of heroin. . .

nothin' much. and you?

Life is busy, and these are my random updates.

I am still trying to get down to my cruise weight. I'm pleased to announce, 10 more pounds, and I am CRUISE bound!! I tried a new workout last night. It's called Zumba. (Search it on youtube, if you're unfamiliar. Be assured that I looked nothing like that.) It's great if you have rhythm or coordination or hips that move. Unfortunately, I don't. I spent one hour and ten minutes attempting to not knock anyone down. I succeeded but just barely.

I will be attending a conference next week. I will be spending Wednesday through Sunday in New Orleans! This will only be my second flight (seriously), so pray that I arrive safely, please. Also, pray that Kyler and Kady behave, stay safe, and stay healthy while I am gone. There's nothing so nerve-wracking as being a mother and being away from your babies.

My long-awaited niece arrived last Wednesday. Miss M is here, and I still haven't managed to see her! I am certainly going to try to see that girl this weekend. In fact, other than cleaning house and packing for my trip, that's all that's on my to-do list. How about yours? Oh, and you can bet I'll be at least listening to the Razorbacks.

Go, Hogs, go!! Beat Troy!

weight loss fail

So, these days I'm a long ways from skinny, but I have managed to get in better shape, build some muscle, and lose some weight (18 pounds and quite a few inches...) by working out and going to a trainer. As I'm working out on Friday, a co-worker comes walking through the area. . .

She: Oh, you're still working out?
Me: Yeah. [sweating and lunging and talking simultaneously]
She: Huh. So, you must think it's working, huh?
Me: Yeah, I guess so. [laughing]

do you smell that?

Within the last month, two different family members have given me 8 different types of shampoo (many of which are travel size. . .I think we have an issue with hotel thievery. . .), 2 full bottles of body wash, and an entire line of skincare products (not to mention 2 sets of shoes and a "just another day in paradise" tote bag). . .What does this say about me? That I'm cheap? I need to bathe more? That I'll take anything?

Theories?

Oddly, I'm not offended and am actually quite pleased with my plunder. . .

Vacation beckons as of today. Like any good "show," this one shall be running reruns for a few good days. Prop your feet up, sit back, eat some cheesecake, drink a Diet Dr. Pepper and enjoy the show. . .That's what I'll be doing, after all!

random factoid #43 about me

[sigh] I guess I should go ahead and just get this out there. I feel like a fraud, keeping something like this from y'all. Here goes.

I have monkey arms.

There. I said it. Now, you all know that I have really, freakishly long arms. (They actually hang to my knees. . .) It comes in handy for reaching stuff. And playing basketball. Not so much for appearing cute and petite, etc. And if you attend a high school where they have this really random "shorts must be 2 inches below your fingertips", you're screwed. Like, scar you for life kinda screwed. It will make you wish you went to school in the next town over, where they have a much less arbitrary "2 inches above the knee" kinda rule for shorts. You might even grow up and enroll your child in that other school. . .just in case those things are inherited. Just sayin'.

If you don't mind, I would prefer we didn't have this conversation, got it? Carry on now.

when animals attack, part 2

When I was around 3 or 4 years old, a peacock showed up at our house. We have no idea where it came from. One day, it just showed up. It would wander around different parts of our farm, but for those several weeks, it never left.

One day, I went outside to play. I was a little afraid of the great big, bright bird that had taken up residence, but Mr. Peacock appeared to be just as afraid of me as I was of him. Until THAT day. THAT day, the peacock decided my hair baubles (remember those?) looked apparently very tasty. Mr. Peacock began pecking at my head. I began running and crying and screaming (because I can be slightly melodramatic like that...). My mom started chasing the peacock and yelling at him. . Shortly thereafter, my dad caught Mr. Peacock and gave him to a not-very-close neighbor of ours. I've never been brave enough to see that scary movie about birds. . .

And now, you know my secret shame...Beavers and peacocks hate me! Anyone know of an appropriate support group/intervention for my issues?

Oh, how I wish I were kidding. . .

I was once attacked by a beaver. For the record, please attempt to never have to type that sentence. It was shortly after Kevin and I got married. He was fishing late one evening at a spot on the river that I drove by on my way home. I knew he was fishing there, so I stopped. We talked for a few minutes, and Kevin mentioned that he had seen a couple of beavers since he arrived. I didn't think anything about it. By this time, it was really dark. He was behind me a little ways, working on his fishing pole. I heard the grass rustling just in front of me. It was loud, as if a very large animal was coming out of it. About that time, I could just see the grass parting, and a creature coming at me. I was shouting Kevin's name, and backing towards the river. I backed up too far. The next thing I knew, I was sliding down the bank towards the river, and the beaver had started down the bank. I managed to jump/climb up the bank as the beaver slid into the water. I stood up, dusting myself off, and trying to look as if a beaver had not just tried to eat me alive. Remember, we were newlyweds. It was important for me not to look fazed by this incident. I looked over at him, and he's literally down on the ground laughing. . .so much for remaining unfazed.

Stay tuned for the "Peacock Incident of 1983." It's a riot. . .if you're not me, that is.

Rachel, the Answerer is IN!

Not the best title, but a person can only be witty so much, ya' know? Well, your questions certainly spanned a range, and unlike my life, only rarely had something to do with my children. . .

1. Jenn asked if Kyler could come over and play with Kyle and Todd when she finishes remodeling their room. Considering I don't know this random Jenn person, but she sounds like she has a fun house. . .sure. Please do not let Kyler play with knives or anything flammable and I don't have a problem with it. (Totally joking! I do know Jenn and she's super nice. I promise I would not let my children hang out with serial killers/creepy child people that I don't wan't to even type for fear somone will stumble here looking for those words. . .)


2. Jenn also asked if I have ever played Cranium Wow? No. I have not, but I have enjoyed all other Cranium games I have played. Therefore, I expect you to make up some killer excuse for us to a) play this game, b) scrapbook, and c) consume quantities of margaritas. What? You offered!


3. Those silly Belfast people asked what food I would miss most if I had to give it up for a year. I would not give up any food for a year. Nope. Sorry. Not gonna happend. . .except maybe blueberries and cucumbers. That would be a sacrifice I might be willing to make. Those fun-loving Belfast Bunch get my respect. Apparently, mac and cheese comes in a jar in Ireland. And [gulp] the chocolate is not the same. There are no Reese's. She hasn't even had the heart to comment on the state of Diet Dr. Pepper in the land of leprechauns and potatoes. . .


4. Which brings me to Jen T's question. She asked if I ever get to drink the real thing. This is a great chance to discuss the maturing (not ageing) of tastebuds. As a kid, we drank Dr. Pepper. As a teenager, I drank Dr. Pepper--after a slight detour with Mountain Dew. As a college student, I gained a little weight and read a book in which the author stated all her calories were to be eaten--not drank. I quickly looked up the calories in Dr. Pepper and decided it sounded like a plan to me. I haven't looked back since, although, for some reason, my scientifically sound weight loss plan hasn't worked like I thought it would. . .more on that later in the week. Today, Dr. Pepper tastes too sweet for me, so I stick to the Diet.


5. Erica, who is apparently a real go-getter asked 2 questions. First of all, she asked what 3 things I would take to a desert island. Easy-peasy. 1) toothbrush. 2) my Bible. easy enough, right. Then, I made my mistake. Here's my answer: 3) a cell phone. unless of course that's not allowed or there would be no signal. in that case, I would take a tent. unless of course there is shelter of some kind on this island. then, I would take matches. or water. or diet dr. pepper. or clothes. yeah, I'm thinking a change of undies would be nice. Does that answer your question? I will now be packing my survival kit in my purse--just in case.


6. Erica's second question: If you could have lunch with any 5 people, dead or alive, who would you pick? Oh, Erica, you're making this too hard on me! Who's paying? Where we going? OK, here's my tentative list: a) Martin Luther King, Jr. because of the contributions he made (nonviolently) to our country, b) Neta Jackson, the lady who wrote the Yada Yada Prayer Group Series, c) my husband (why not? We never get to eat together, anyway! Plus, he's a much better socializer than I am!), d) Twyla & Daniel (because I miss getting together with her!!!!!! and him!!), e) Jesus (ok, that's a gimme), f) George Stephanoloupous, because his observations are always intelligent, if not right : ), g) Bianca (because she's the smartest person to debate anything with, and h) Erica, because that would just be rude if I didn't invite her! (She must be picking up the check, right?!) : ) I kinda cheated, but what's new?!


7. Mom of 2 asked if Kevin and I plan on living in "Paradise" for the rest of our lives or if we have plans of moving? Hmmm, this question would require advance planning on our parts and actual decisiveness, which we don't do so well. I believe my final answer is yes, we tentatively plan on living in paradise for the rest of our lives--wherever that may be. The long-term goal, as of last week, was to eventually sell the house we're in when the market is a little better and (possibly, maybe) move closer to my parents (wherever that might be at that time. . .). However, we are prepared to live wherever we feel God wants us. In conclusion, if you're confused, then, good, you got all that.


8. Finally, steffj89 asked if Kevin had gone back to work yet. . .OK, I think it's safe to say that my husband has officially joined the permanently unemployed society (dues pending). Actually, we anticipate him returning to work next week [fingers crossed].

As for getting together for lunch, I have a better idea. Let's all get together to see this!!!

It opens February 13th, so I'm planning on seeing it that night or Valentine's DAY (not night). Maybe we could eat at Olive Garden, etc., before/after the movie. You're all welcome to join me. Email (rlkendr AT yahoo DOT com) for input and details (although they're obviously not finalized yet). What do you think?

Whew. I'm tired after all that. I think it's time for this. . .

Gee, thanks?

So, at 3:30 yesterday I get a call. It's a nurse at the hospital where I work. She's calling to ask if I'm ok. It seems the last several times when she's seen me, I've been rather pale and tired looking. Am I well? I explain that I'm always pale, but she assures me I've been looking exceptionally pale and not well.

Um.

Well.

Gee.

Thanks for caring? It's not everyday someone calls me up to ask if I'm dying. I'm at a loss. What would you say?