Thursday, February 25, 2010

he doesn't know me

I hate to shop. OK, a random day at the Christian book store is fun, or maybe an occasional jaunt to Tar-jay. Generally speaking, I'd rather not spend my time shopping, especially if it involves driving large distances. Kev is working in Louisiana--Shreveport to be exact. He's about 8 hours away from us. We haven't seen him for several weeks. I will drive 8 hours to see him on Friday night and then return Sunday afternoon. (Kyler will go with me; Kady will stay with Nana.)

Yep, you read that right. I'm driving 16 hours to spend the weekend with my hubs. It gets better. He works all day Saturday, so that day is out. We'll get to see him Saturday night, but. . .Wait. It gets even better. . .They may work Sunday, too. He won't know until Saturday, and at that point, we'll already be there. . .Kev's response: "Well, come on down, and if I have to work, you can just spend the day shopping or something. . ."

Hello? Have we met? M E N ! ! !

Friday, February 19, 2010

Buttering Up

Kady loves to help cook. Kyler, to this day, hates having to help in the kitchen. I feel the need to apologize to his future wife now. I tried, but he’s just not interested in anything to do with preparing food. Kady on the other hand, never misses an opportunity to help cook, including last night. I went to the kitchen to prepare supper, and Kady, knowing what I was doing, ran ahead of me. She opened the refrigerator and announced, “I’ll get the butter.” Never mind the fact that we were having frozen pizzas. Now, I’m wondering just how much butter we use. . .

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A Public School Presidential Education

There are many people who question our current educational system. Arkansas, in particular, has had many recent changes in hopes of improving our state’s ability to teach our children what they need to succeed. Being a graduate of this great state’s educational system myself, I never really doubted my son would receive an adequate education (with the possible exception of doing math in my head—I still can’t do that. . .). Recently, I’ve come to question what exactly he is learning. It seems Kyler has confused this man. . .

With this man. . .

That’s right. He thought Abraham Lincoln was Elvis. What ARE they teaching him?

This post is intended as a joke. It is in no way intended to be a reflection on Kyler's current or former teachers, who by and large, have been phenomenal!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Ordering the Truth Around. . .But Just a Little

Kady tends to be a little. . .bossy. Bless her heart, if she had been born first, Kyler would have never made it. Despite the 6 years he has on her, she bosses him around constantly!! This weekend, she was ordering Kyler around once again.

Finally, I called her over and asked her, “Kady, who is the boss?”

Kady: Mommy and Daddy

Me: That’s right. Kady, are you the boss?

Kady: Weeeellll, I is a little boss.

And that pretty well sums up her viewpoint on why she’s here. How do you argue with that?

Monday, February 15, 2010

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Alternately Titled: A Day from H*LL OR The Worst Day Ever

The day before Valentine’s Day is rough if you’re single or, in my case, just unable to be with your spouse. I knew it would be emotionally challenging, but I was doing my best to make it a good day for the kids. I had already given them the small gifts from Kev and me. After surviving theblizzards that wouldn’t end, Kady’s plague of pneumonia, and several days at my parents’ house, we arrived home to bare cupboards—eating stale popcorn and scraping the sides of the peanut butter jar type of bare cupboards.

We took off to the “big city” of Fayetteville to get our groceries. The Fayetteville Wal-Mart ended up being our destination, despite some objections on my part (it’s right beside the mall and most restaurants—almost insuring traffic issues on the Saturday night before Valentine’s Day).

Sure enough, it was BUSY. The check-out lines were 5 deep when we walked through the door, but have you ever tried to drag children out of a Wal-Mart before they’ve had a chance to look? I’m sure it’s DHS-call worthy, or at least the sounds they would make would appear that way. We stayed. I decided to suck it up and bite the bullet and just do it and all those other cliché things people say when the situation pretty well stinks, but you don’t have a choice. . .

Almost immediately, Kady began cheering. Loudly.

“GO RAZORBACKS! I LOVE TO CHEER—GO RAZORBACKS!”
It was cute for a second. I mean, at least she wasn’t cheering “Roll Tide” or something truly embarrassing. However, I reminded her that she was inside, and she must use her inside voice. . .To which she replied. . .

“I IS A CHEERLEADER AND THIS IS HOW CHEERLEADERS TALK—GO RAZORBACKS!”
It’s amazing how quickly you can grocery shop that way.

As we were leaving, Kady apparently thought she saw her daddy, despite the fact that he’s 8 hours away. She was loudly yelling, “DADDY, DADDY WAIT! WAIT, DADDY!!!” I was never quite sure which one she thought looked like Kev, but I can say there were a few men I’d never seen before making a speedy get away. . .

After slowly (due to VDay traffic/auto accidents) making our way in the general direction of home, I called a single with no-children, teacher friend of mine, who is often intrigued/appalled at the misadventures my hooligans get me into. As I was talking to her, chaos suddenly ensued, and I found myself saying something I never dreamed I would say. . .

“I’M GOING TO HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK. I JUST GOT HIT BY A SWEET AND SOUR SOAKED CHICKEN NUGGET.”

My daughter had attempted to throw a chicken nugget at her brother and missed. The sticky, poultry ball had ricocheted off my jacket, rolled down the arm, and bounced in my lap.

I can assure you that we are not in the regular habit of throwing food. My theory? Apparently, when one recovers from pneumonia, one finds themselves with an overabundance of energy and the need to throw food towards one’s sibling. . .What can I say, it’s the best answer I’ve come up with.

Anyway, as you can imagine, we immediately began discussing disciplinary actions that would occur as soon as we were home. Kady began crying. She announced that if I tried to discipline her, she would throw me in with the frogs. Yep. I checked it twice, because I thought I might not have understood. If I tried to discipline her, SHE WOULD THROW ME IN WITH THE FROGS. . .I managed not to laugh, but it was one of those parenting moments when you can’t decide whether to laugh, cry, yell, or just give up and completely LOSE IT. . .

And, just when you thought I survived (without getting thrown to the frogs), I arrived home to find that I had washed a pull-up in the washing machine. . .So, how was your Valentine’s Day?

Friday, February 12, 2010

we're friends, right?

You might remember that I both complain and rejoice at the fact that we don't watch much tv. After all, it's hard to watch much tv when you only get two channels. . .We do however, watch a lot of movies, but there's only so many times you can watch Hope Floats. . .Enter Christmas.

This year, I bought myself a REALLY, really nice present.
I "invested" in the complete season of Friends on DVD. I used to LOVE to watch Friends, and there's something so fun about sitting down to watch a couple of good episodes of tv (minus commercials!) with a load of laundry to fold. . .OK, scrap the laundry. . .except that it's still there. It never goes away. . .but I digress.


Anyway, I think we might be overdoing the Friends-watching. The other morning, Kady walked into my bedroom and asked Maddie, "How you doin'?"
Oops.

Bonus points for anyone who can name the body part Phoebe found in a can. Or anyone that can name the person Chandler got stuck in the bank with. Or the type of pet Rachel got. . .and got rid of. Or. . .name your own trivia question. . .Come on Fans of Friends, challenge me. : )
Kady's finally getting better, after having a rough go-round with pneumonia. I'm trying to avoid getting caught up on housework--in case you couldn't tell.

Monday, February 1, 2010

it's possible we're not in (ar)kansas anymore: when winter hits arkansas

Arkansas averages one good snowfall a year. To us, that means we get 1 or 2 inches of snow that the kids make (muddy, rocky) snowmen out of. This year, we've already had two good snowfalls, including last week's 7 (!) inches. A 7-inch snowfall all but REQUIRES everyone not using a walker to get out and play in it. Out came the boots, the snow suits, the gloves, the. . .WHERE ARE THE HATS? WHO HAS A HAT? WHERE DID YOUR HAT GO?!

My question to the more northern readers: How do y'all do this ALL winter long? Is it possible to surgically attach gloves or hats to children?

Kev drove more than 8 hours in ice and snow to see us. That's love. I'm not sure if it's love for me and the kids, his dog, or playing in the snow, but I'll take what I can get.

Sunday (since it was the blizzard of the year and church was cancelled--seriously.), Kev took the kids to his brother's house to sled. Sledding around here involves a 4wheeler, a rope, and something else. Sleds are SO optional. The guys sledded until they removed all snow AND grass from the ground. Not everyone can come home from sledding muddy. . .

My niece (possibly the smartest of the bunch) decided to build a snowman instead of being on the redneck-ride-of-death-and-dismemberment. Kady found the buttons she had "forgotten" on the snowman and returned them. Oops. I guess we need more practice at the snowman bit.