Thursday, October 15, 2009

simplifying my life

Life's kicking my rear these days. In an attempt to regain some control, I've decided to simplify my life. After much thought, these are the things bringing me stress, so I've decided to get rid of a few of them in order to live a stress-free life.

Classified Ad #1:

2 kids. slightly used. apparently disciplined little. no tricks, mostly housebroken, and great company--never a dull minute. great deal. owner financing possible. no trades considered. interested? call me.
Ad #2
Antique, classic matched set of parents. Very independent and head-strong. Not for beginners. Requires attention. Comes with great insurance. Matched set of in-laws also available--call for details.
Ad #3
Cozy home available. Decorated in comfortable, lived-in, tornado-blew-through style. Comes with own set of dirty dishes and dirty laundry. will consider all trades that come with hired help (maid/gardener, etc.). Great possibilities for ad #1.
Ad #4
2006 SUV available. umpteen million miles. no major outside damage (thanks to the thousands spent at the body shop after that darn deer ran in front of me. . .). inside decorated in we-live-in-it style (no extra cost!!). Outside currently decorated with 3 inches of dirt/mud. will consider clean up for right price. CALL TODAY!!!
That's it. That's all I can find to rid myself of stress, so until someone calls/contacts me about above, it looks like I'll continue to be one step away from checking myself into a place with padded walls. . .And this post is totally intended as a joke. I would never consider trading my kids or my parents. After all, have you seen some of the other options out there?!


a Tonggu Momma said...

I can't make an offer, but perhaps a trade for a week or two might be acceptable? Otherwise I'm thinking of placing my own ads. Heh.

Jenn said...

I was thinking of offering you a trade too. You could get six of mine for two of yours! Put em to work in anyway you see fit... lol

CC said...

I wouldn't have bothered with the disclaimer. It was perfect as is. ;)

Missy said...

I'll see your two kids, needy parents, overbearing in-laws and dirty, er I mean "lived-in" car with over 100,000 miles and raise you one stinky mom.

Fun post.

Rachel said...

Love it! You crack me up.

steff said...

LMAO....since my kids will pick up @ anyones house but mine and act like i am killing them every time i ask this just might work....

will gladly trade minivan for suv of any kind also too many miles...nope i am keeping my family and forget offers, i will pay someone else to take his, that is when he goes backt o work after finishing fixing up welding truck and takes $^&$%^ test...considering we are in week seven of the "i promise i wont take off six weeks steff" winter break...
ooops do i sound bitter???