Friday, February 27, 2009

crafting giveaway

The crafts, well, they are as complete as they shall get. I will be mailing them today (or Monday--depending on when I can make it to the post office). Look for them in your mail. (Julie, I still need your info. E-mail rlkendr at yahoo dot com.)

Remember, it's the thought that counts. Lower those standards, people! : )

Have a great weekend! I shall return Monday with tales of staying in a camper trailer (29 feet in length) with a toddler who has worse mood swings than all the women I know, a very active 8-year-old with an ear infection, and one very cranky husband. Woo hoo! (No, you can't go. Maybe next time.)

On the plus side, it looks like I get to begin shopping for a new washing machine. YAY! Mine is actively dieing.

See you Monday.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

bad mommy

I make beautiful kids, huh? These pictures are several years old. I've been cleaning out my purse, looking for lost insurance cards, when I came across these. Kyler was always the cutest little guy--when you could see him. He was (and still is) quite hyperactive. I have to admit I lost my cool this morning. I had taken the morning off work to get some house stuff caught up. The phone rang at 9:00. It was the school nurse. Kyler had an earache and needed to go home. It was an hour before I could get there. In the meantime, he had returned to class and appeared to be doing fine. The nurse, however, felt he needed to go home, so my son comes bounding down the hallway, laughing with a friend. Whether or not he has an ear infection (we'll find out later today), I do believe he was well enough to remain in school. . .I told him that from now on, he is not to go to the nurse unless he feels it is a true emergency. I overreacted. Looking at this picture made me realize just how fast it goes and just how fleeting my influence on him may be.

While this may not be the typical tongue-in-cheek post most common to Fro' Me to You, check out some great stories at We are THAT family.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

you eat WHAT?!

This is yet another fine example of how redneck we really are.

(Note the "healthful meat" section.)
For the record, I don't think my son has actually eaten squirrel, but as previously admitted to, his mother has. . .

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Deer, Deer, Deer, Deer, Deer, Deer

I hit a deer. Relax. We're ok, and it's actually been several weeks since it happened. We were driving home at dusk one night. I saw a deer and began stopping. Before I could get stopped, another deer ran in front of my car. I had time to say deer about 6 times before we hit it. I really did not hit it that hard, but it hit square on my bumper/grill area and bounced back on the road. I pulled over and jumped out. My grill (2 pieces), bumper and headlight housing were broken. About that time, the deer came to, jumped up, and ran off.

It was all very surreal, especially when it came to my kids. Kyler (the mighty hunter) was crying because he was afraid the deer would die a long, slow, painful death from his internal injuries. Kady on the other hand, had her hand shaped like a gun and was "shooting" pretend deer. I think my daughter might be practicing to be a poacher. . .

PS The damage came to $2,600.00. My insurance company hates me. My body shop loves me.

PPS The headlight on my car costs way more than the bumper or grill. Does anyone else find that odd--especially considering the headlight itself wasn't broken??

Friday, February 20, 2009

If you need me, I'll be zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Kady is sick. It started Monday this time. (I think. Who can keep track?) We visited with the doctor yesterday, who prescribed an armload of medicine for my baby. (She had an upper respiratory infection that was once again progressing swiftly towards pneumonia.) We started the medicine yesterday, and she appears to be doing well. At least, she was doing very well at 4 am. For those of you unfamiliar with that time of day, that would be one of those hours where we used to be sleeping. Now, I'm consoling a toddler or feeding a toddler or watching Gigi or dozing while the toddler tears the house apart. . .[snoring]

OH, sorry about that! For the record, the next time you have to buy a gift for the child of the parent you so do not like, buy this. . .

I thought our babysitter liked us. . .Apparently not. I'm not quite sure how Kady got it everywhere in my kitchen, but she did. Every time I think it's swept up, I find more. Pure evilness, I tell ya'.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a nap and hope no one notices. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you all Monday (hopefully).

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Ah, my glory days. . .

Per your request, the above picture is the newspaper clipping of my Beef Princess days. The girl on the left was the state beef princess. The girl on the right was the previous year's beef princess. I would be the shining glory in the middle. No, I don't know what was up with that flip of hair in my face. I actually paid to get my hair to do that. . .To add to the embarrassment, this clipping was submitted and featured on Jay Leno's segment "Headlines." I believe his comment was, "What a bunch of cows." Thanks, Jay.

For more embarrassing stuff (about other people this time!) check out We are THAT Family.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Giveaway!! (Don't get TOO excited.)

This is way overdue. Erica at the Kennett's Krazy Life participated in this really neat giveaway. I took a big gulp and decided to do it too, and then promptly began procrastinating. It involves crafting and me, so you people should probably lower your expectations now. It does sound like fun, however. Here's Erica's explanation:

Craft It Forward

My friend Marci at All Things Wonderful has *started* a great giveaway.Here's what it's all about:If you want to win a handmade ♥GIFT♥ from me. Be one of the first 3 bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which entitles you to a handmade item from me. Winners must post this giveaway on your blog, meaning that you will {Craft it Forward} too, creating a handmade gift for the first three bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway! The gift that you send can be any price range and you have 30 days to make and ship your item(s).Now do you see why I thought this idea was genius? How fun is this gonna be? Remember, it’s the spirit and the thought that count! When you receive your gift, please blog about it! If you are not one of the Top Three to comment on this post, you can still play along. Please start your own {Craft it Forward} chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same.I must admit, I'm not the most crafty person....but, I think I've come up with a neat idea that even I can do! So, go ahead and leave me a comment. You know you want to!

Alright people, please help me out. Who wants something homemade by me? I'm thinking handmade cards or a potholder or a picture frame or. . .Well, I obviously haven't decided what, but please help me with the who. Please leave a comment below, and for goodness sakes, join in!

well, we're off to a great start. . .

Y'all. If only I were kidding. . .

Dear President Obama,
Ever since my son learned that you smoke, he has been obsessed. He tells everyone that our president smokes. He usually adds that you're trying to quit. This is important to him. You see, his father smokes, and he would like for him to quit. My husband has smoked ever since we met. He has tried to quit, but he has been less than successful. He does not smoke around the kids, but he does smoke. He also occasionally has a beer. He honestly drinks very little.

I told you this in an attempt to explain. You will soon be receiving letters from my son's class. They were encouraged to write to you about anything. When you receive my son's letter, please understand that when he tells you to get rid of the drugs so his daddy "won't drink beer and do drugs anymore", he is talking about smoking cigarettes. . .and only cigarettes. I promise. I understand this could be construed as something far more serious, but truthfully, we do not do drugs. You have my word.

I am sorry for any misunderstanding this may have caused and would understand if you feel the need to invite my son to the White House so that you might check things out for yourself. (Just sayin'.) Please understand that my son should come with a warning. We are thinking about

Please understand that the views expressed by this child do not necessarily represent the views of his parents.
or (especially in this case)
Please double check all facts with this child's mother or other family members before contacting any authorities. . .
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Just Another Day in Paradise

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the lowest of the low

You may have heard about a little ice storm that happened at the end of January/beginning of February. . .Well, there are still people in our area that do not have power. The electric company crews have been fabulous at getting everyone's power up and going as fast as they can. We have had crews from Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Kansas, Pennsylvania, and probably a few other states here to help out, and we do appreciate the help! Well, most of us. . .This is just sorry. The only thing I can say is that Ozarks Electric is nicer than I would have been. I would have demanded these young men pay in some sort of way. And if you're reading this from Pennsylvania (of if you're African American or if we've offended you in any other way. . .), let me extend my deepest regrets and my sincere appreciation for all you've done to help our area. We are not all like this.

From the Madison County Record:

Visiting utility workers harassed
by Kyle MootyMadison County Record Editor

A group of out-of-state electric company workers helping restore power to Madison County residents were subjected to racial epithets and other forms of harassment while in the area on Saturday.

A portion of the 100-plus crew members on loan from Pennsylvania that were helping restore power in the Boston area were concerned enough to call for help at Ozarks Electric's Fayetteville headquarters. The Washington County Sheriff's Office was then notified, and subsequently the Madison County Sheriff's Office.

According to Madison County Sheriff Phillip Morgan, the Pennsylvania crew, which had split into about three groups, had between 30 or 40 African-American workers included in the 100.
"Some kids were driving around them, waving Rebel flags and mouthing to them," Morgan said. "They showed some weapons and were supposedly intoxicated."That's just not right for those people to treat them that way. Those people came down here from Pennsylvania to help us get electricity back on, leaving their families behind, and this is how they are treated. That's just wrong."

Captain Robert Boyd, Lt. Clay Rowland and Reserve Deputy Wayne Martin responded.

Ozarks Electric chose not to press charges against the boys.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Deep Thoughts Regarding the Round Ball

If you're a Razorback fan, I'm not sure there's anything to look forward to regarding March Madness. . .I guess it does signal the end of a very L O N G season.
On a more positive note, if the Razorbacks can get things turned around by the 2019-2020 season, I have THE player for them. . .but I could be biased. : ) Kyler scored 5 or 6 baskets on Saturday. He is such a great basketball player!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Not exactly a match made in heaven

Kyler's class has been learning the art of writing letters. Each day, one child was chosen and everyone else wrote a letter to that student. When finished, the letters were bundled and sent home with the students. It was so much fun to read what each student wrote to my son. They ranged from the mundane:
Dear Kyler,
Do you like anims (animals)? Whel, I do do you. Kyler you are cool. I think you should which (watch) Old Yeler.


to the very sweet:
Dear Kyler,
I am so glad that you are in my class this year. What are you going to be when you grow up. I think you should be an artes (artist) when you grow up. You would be good. I think you should be famous because you are very smart.

Your Friend,

to the hilarious:
Dear Kyler,
I know we are the best artists in the class. But we shouldn't brag on our selfs. What are you going to be when you grow up? I think you should be a Artist Because that's what I'm going to be. What are you going to be if you don't do that? Are you going to make bibles? Do you like Mrs. [our teacher's name]? I think you should like her more. Have a great day.

Your friend,

and there's this one:
written in the most prim, neat handwriting you can imagine
Dear Kyler,
I know we don't always get along that well. Don't you like to read books about animals? I love writing poems I want to do some again! Do you like to write poems? If you don't you should because you can do a lot of writing and it's like practicing your handwriting. Poems are very, very fun to write. The 1 poem that you wrote about "We all scream for winter clothes" that poem is really good. Do you like math? I do because you can do adding, subtracting, and times tables and a lot of other things. You have been very good in class.

Your friend,

Hmm, after reading that last one, I can't imagine why my fun-loving, school-hating son doesn't always get along with her. . .Can you? And, please, no comments about how I would have been the last one when I was in school! : )

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

SWAK: My Valentine Letter to my Husband

Dear Kevin,
The truth is we were never "supposed" to get together. We were certainly never "supposed" to last. Everyone said so. After all, you were that guy who was always looking for fun, always looking to get into a little mischief. You smoked. You drank. You stayed out late. You were THE bad boy.

I was the always-conscious-of-how-important-this-was-to-my-future girl. I was forever concerned about grades and homework and being good. I knew my plans for the future. I didn't think about nonsense that might deter those plans. Then, I had a "mini-meltdown" and met you.

We were good for each other. You taught me to be a little wild. I taught you to set goals. You taught me that no matter how much I planned, life just kind of spontaneously happened. I taught you to care more for another's happiness than your own (as you taught me).

We fell in love when everyone said we were too young. We got married, and everyone said it would never last--we were too young. They were right--about the too young part. We were too young, but it has lasted. . .for over 10 years now. We were too naive, but we've gained wisdom and experience. We have laughed and we have cried.

We've been through some really tough times. I didn't think we'd ever get out of that first apartment we were in. OH! And remember when I rented the house full of roaches?! Then there was the Valentine's Day you gave me the sad, droopy aloe vera plant that you snagged at the last possible moment. . .

We have survived parents divorcing, parents remarrying, a parent's death, fairly "odd" family members becoming officially certifiable, deaths of loved ones, deaths of friends' babies, college, graduate school, night shift, being "welfare poor," being just above welfare poor, bounced checks, lies, births of our babies, sleepless nights with our babies, roommates (never again!!), friends taking over my kitchen (Hi, Adam!), James Dean neighbors, tequila nights, fast food jobs, unemployment, bad housekeeping, parents' heart attacks and other assorted medical crises, weddings, funerals, bad cooking, serious weight gain (obviously not due to bad cooking, right?!), working away from home, depression, roughly 1400 flat tires, a ton of laundry, piles of deer meat, stacks of unfiled pictures, the death of your best friend, a son that appears to be a clone of my dad, a red-headed daughter, snow skiing, a freak New Mexico blizzard, being stranded on the interstate, bad Chinese food (here, kitty-kitty), vacations with the parents, changing a million dirty diapers (me), cases of beer (you), a few (!) fights, and a gazillion laughs to be where we are now.

I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Through it all, you've been my lover, my guardian (at times), my protector, my confidant, my sweetheart, my challenger, my alter-ego, my children's father, my strong arms, my handyman, my fellow dreamer, my mechanic, my sounding board, my hunter (and when that didn't work, my gatherer), my provider, my breadwinner, my supporter, my cheerleader, my encouragement, my redneck : ), and most importantly, my best friend! I love my life, and I love you. You make each day tolerable. There is no one else I'd rather laugh with and love.



PS After seeing the mess you cleaned out of my car last weekend, I know you love me, too!!

Monday, February 9, 2009

I was there--kinda.

Really behind on this, but on Saturday, my post about Kyler's, um, "forks" was featured on 5 minutes for humor. Go HERE to check it out, if you're interested.

Friday, February 6, 2009

because we haven't laughed enough. . .

Head on over to the Red Clay Diaries. She's at the Blissdom '09 conference, but we'll try not to hold that against her. Check out this video from the Ellen Degeneres show. It is guaranteed to make you laugh. (Click on any of the previous text to get there.)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

my 3 seconds of fame

I was once the Beef Princess. Go ahead. Laugh. You know you are. Let's just agree now, that you are laughing at me, ok? Anyway, in my small hometown, there are not a lot of scholarship opportunities, and as a bit of a planner (what happened to that skill anyway?), I was not going to wait around until the end of my senior year of high school to figure out how to pay for college. Therefore, I entered EVERY scholarship opportunity that came along. Every single one. My most memorable one is obviously the beef princess title. Unfortunately, if you became the county beef princess, you had to compete at the state level. . .It was the most difficult pageant/scholarship I ever participated in. We had to model, interview, give an expository 5 minute speech, and probably other stuff too. I don't actually remember much after the whole "You WILL give a speech that is five minutes long that you've had 10 minutes to prepare for. . .Good luck!"

Forgive me--I'm having heart palpitations now over that last sentence. . .

OK, I'm back. Anyway, for some reason, I managed to get first runner up at the state beef princess competition. . .I can only guess the judges felt sorry for my extreme anxiety level. . .

I remember being relieved that I didn't actually win, because that would have kept me from getting married. In June. At 18. Gosh, maybe that's when the planning started going south. . .So, I get back to high school from this competition, and the school secretary announces on the intercom that everyone should congratulate me over my win. Trust me when I say you never want to be the first runner-up in the Arkansas Beef Princess contest or as the ever-so-nice kids in high school referred to me: the second biggest heifer in the state of Arkansas. For more embarrassing stories, check out We are THAT family.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

computer geeks are overrated

I am sorry for the possibly offensive title of this post. We finally got power, so I'm back! Now, begins the great migration back to our actual office. . .so things are a little hectic for now. Added to that, the resident computer guy at work has made me angry.

Apparently, our fax machine needs a software upgrade following the worst ice storm--EVAH!

When the fax machine was installed, it also needed an upgrade--which the resident computer guy completed. (I was here. I witnessed it.)

Apparently, the resident computer guy "does not DO fax machines."

Um. . .ok. Then, who in the heck did it last time? Overrated, I tell ya'.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Age is in the eye of the beholder. . .

First of all, I'm in total blogging withdrawal. I can't wait to get power back at work, so I can spend my time effectively by reading blogs. . .I miss you all so much.

Before the "ice storm of aught nine" hit, Kady spent the night with my mom.

Nana applied moisturizer.

Kady wanted some.

Nana said she was old, and that was why she used it.

Kady said, "You old, Nana?"

Nana said that yes she was old.

Kady asked, "You four, Nana?"

Oh, to be two again.