my 3 seconds of fame

I was once the Beef Princess. Go ahead. Laugh. You know you are. Let's just agree now, that you are laughing at me, ok? Anyway, in my small hometown, there are not a lot of scholarship opportunities, and as a bit of a planner (what happened to that skill anyway?), I was not going to wait around until the end of my senior year of high school to figure out how to pay for college. Therefore, I entered EVERY scholarship opportunity that came along. Every single one. My most memorable one is obviously the beef princess title. Unfortunately, if you became the county beef princess, you had to compete at the state level. . .It was the most difficult pageant/scholarship I ever participated in. We had to model, interview, give an expository 5 minute speech, and probably other stuff too. I don't actually remember much after the whole "You WILL give a speech that is five minutes long that you've had 10 minutes to prepare for. . .Good luck!"

Forgive me--I'm having heart palpitations now over that last sentence. . .

OK, I'm back. Anyway, for some reason, I managed to get first runner up at the state beef princess competition. . .I can only guess the judges felt sorry for my extreme anxiety level. . .

I remember being relieved that I didn't actually win, because that would have kept me from getting married. In June. At 18. Gosh, maybe that's when the planning started going south. . .So, I get back to high school from this competition, and the school secretary announces on the intercom that everyone should congratulate me over my win. Trust me when I say you never want to be the first runner-up in the Arkansas Beef Princess contest or as the ever-so-nice kids in high school referred to me: the second biggest heifer in the state of Arkansas. For more embarrassing stories, check out We are THAT family.