Wednesday, November 12, 2008

You've got WHAT on your hands?

Forgive me in advance for any false information I share. I am not a deer hunter. I grew up around them. I might have even attempted the hunting thing a time or two. However, the only deer I've ever killed was trying to outrun my car. . .Another story for another day. . .

Kev and Kyler went hunting close to our house this weekend. In fact, they just walked out in "our" woods to their tree stand to hunt. Can we just take a moment for me to realize how blessed I am?

Ok, I'm back. Kyler is really beginning to enjoy this hunting thing, so Kev is letting him do more and more. This time he let Kyler drag the "scent." This involves putting doe pee on a cotton ball and pulling it with a string to lure the buck in. (The buck smells a doe and comes around to find the amazingly, seductive-smelling doe.) Now, most of you are thinking doe pee is not high on the list of things you want to smell in your life. I can now assure you that you are right.

Apparently, somewhere on the way to the tree stand, Kyler dropped the string upon which the cotton ball was attached. Kevin realized this when he turned around and saw Kyler HOLDING the cotton ball. He asked Kyler why he was holding the cotton ball, and Kyler said he had dropped the string. At which time, he apparently thought it would be easier to just hold the cotton ball containing doe urine. . .Really, Kev, it's not like you explained the process to your son. . .(Can you picture Kyler's mind working to try and figure out exactly why pulling a cotton ball on a string was going to make them better deer hunters? I can.)

Kyler then spent the next hour or so sitting in a tree, smelling like a deer whizzed on him, and (bless his heart) holding his hand up for the wind to blow the smell off him. Ah, good times. When they came home, Kyler was sent to wash his hands IMMEDIATELY. When he returned, he (Moms, y'all know where this is going. . .) asked (not his dad but) me to smell his hands. Let's just say he had to rewash them. . .

In closing, let me share what we learned from this experience.

Lessons learned:

  1. The cotton ball goes on the ground.
  2. At all times, the cotton ball goes on the ground.
  3. DO NOT TOUCH the cotton ball.
  4. Boys are gross.
  5. Wind, water, soap, steel wool, acid (I jest) will not remove the scent of doe urine.
  6. Do NOT respond to the words, "Mom, smell this."
  7. Ever.
  8. No matter what.


Lynn said...

O Lordy, doe pee in the hands. Just one more thing to be thankful I've never experienced personally. I'll add it right under armadillo soup. :) (a friend who went to Guatemala had to eat this. It went into an armadillo's shell or head or something as the serving dish). I hope you followed your rules and did not smell the cotton ball.

Debbie said...

You learned a big old lesson too. Never smell or eat anything they offer you. They are tricky beasts.

Jenn said...

Silly you... you NEVER smell anything a boy offers up!

Does it make you feel better that Todd walked in my house the other day after helping to cut apart a deer and told me "Hey Mom! I got to hold the deer's butthole!" Agghhhh... boys!!

Did they catch anything?

Hungry for deer meat now???

Mary said...

Soak his hand in vinegar! :-)

But really, it works.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Oh should NEVER sniff any fingers that are attached to a little boy. Ever! LOL!

Steph at the Red Clay Diaries said...

That's hilarious! Yeah, I think I'll remember your final note. Don't smell anything. Ever. Ever. :)

Anonymous said...

It's not just BOYS! Two nights ago my 10 year old GRAND DAUGHTER told her mother that she HAD taken a Bath.
When my daughter got home, she went to kiss this little girl goodnight. She pulled back the covers and guess what she smelled? Dirty Hair, BO, and Stinky Feet. At least your boys weren't LYING, LOL!

Julie said...

THis is hilarious! I want to come where you live if you've got that kind of space, sounds like my kind of place!

I've got a "recipe" that has baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, dish soap and hot water and it works on skunk and cat pee, may work for doe pee too though I've not tried it.

Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates said...

Gross! That gave me a really good laugh though! :)

steffj89 said...

I have yet to experience this but imagine we are getting close. Tanner has been going squirrel hunting with C while he was home this trip...and asking for his own gun and to go by himself...yeah like i am about to turn a 4 1/2 y/o loose. with a himself...oh the joys of being married to a redneck kind of daddy...i must have missed this chapter in the marrying your polar opposite handbook.

Tammy W said...

Too funny...he sounds so sweet! I learned a lesson this week..ABOUT RATS!

CC said...

ewwwwwwwwwww! quite a different string "treat" than my post!