well, we're off to a great start. . .

Y'all. If only I were kidding. . .

Dear President Obama,
Ever since my son learned that you smoke, he has been obsessed. He tells everyone that our president smokes. He usually adds that you're trying to quit. This is important to him. You see, his father smokes, and he would like for him to quit. My husband has smoked ever since we met. He has tried to quit, but he has been less than successful. He does not smoke around the kids, but he does smoke. He also occasionally has a beer. He honestly drinks very little.

I told you this in an attempt to explain. You will soon be receiving letters from my son's class. They were encouraged to write to you about anything. When you receive my son's letter, please understand that when he tells you to get rid of the drugs so his daddy "won't drink beer and do drugs anymore", he is talking about smoking cigarettes. . .and only cigarettes. I promise. I understand this could be construed as something far more serious, but truthfully, we do not do drugs. You have my word.

I am sorry for any misunderstanding this may have caused and would understand if you feel the need to invite my son to the White House so that you might check things out for yourself. (Just sayin'.) Please understand that my son should come with a warning. We are thinking about

Please understand that the views expressed by this child do not necessarily represent the views of his parents.

or (especially in this case)

Please double check all facts with this child's mother or other family members before contacting any authorities. . .

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Just Another Day in Paradise