Friday, July 3, 2009

boys vs. girls

I tend to view myself as fairly open minded about many things. When I became a parent, my goal was to develop intelligent, empathetic, independent thinkers, who would one day conquer the part of the world they inhabited (whatever part that might be). (I'm also slightly optimistic. . .)

I had everything planned. My kids were going to enjoy school. They would love reading, yet be very athletic. They would be kind and helpful, hardworking and studious. Rigid gender stereotypes would be forgotten and definitely unlearned.


No one told me (or maybe I didn't listen) that gender stereotypes are largely unlearned. They are ingrained in their DNA or something. As much as I wanted Kyler to be kind to the baby doll we had when he was a toddler, he insisted on throwing it or shooting it or . . .I was a little worried, or um, I was highly worried but tried not to show it. Somewhere along the way, I realized that Kyler is a wonderfully kind and sweet young man who doesn't give a flip about playing with a baby doll. . .and that's ok.

Along came Kady. She loves to play with her baby dolls. She loves "Barbie" dresses (frilly dresses whose skirt will twirl with her). She "mothers" everything. She is, for lack of a better word, a total girl!

That brings me to my final thought. (Or not, you know how I love to ramble. . .) The kids both made cards for their daddy. Kyler's was cute and boyish (with guitars and such on it). Kady's was girly with colored swirls all over it. The next morning, Kady wanted to take hers to the babysitter and show it off. She also had a doily in her hand. I told her to take the card and leave the doily. She puckered her lip and replied, "but my card might get cold. . ." You are a total girl if you think your card needs a blankie!


Anonymous said...

Sounds to me like you have a lovely lady and a kind gentleman. Perfect parenting. Excellent work Mom (and Dad of course)