CHRISTMAS ROCKS!!

Be Like ME

or not. Shabby Creations did a wonderful job, in my opinion, with this blog design. They are giving away 3 (!) pre-made layouts. Go HERE to win. She has many awesome designs, so check it out!

CHRISTMAS ROCKS!

This was Kady's first Christmas where she actually got to participate and understand a little about what was happening. She loved her stocking and all her presents. Obviously, Kady strongly endorses and supports the celebration of Christmas.

French Toast

My mom never made us french toast. I know. You're feeling my pain. She tried. She made cinnamon toast, but she didn't actually know how to make real french toast. (My mom is a great cook, by the way! Apparently, french toast was not something my squirrel-and-dumpling-makin' Grandma taught her. Don't knock the squirell and dumplings--they were quite tasty.)

I've never actually made french toast either. I guess I never think about it. Mom didn't teach me how, so who knows if I could. . .although Kev has done it.

(Let's all pretend that I did not just admit that Kevin can cook. He would be mortified.)

Kev made Kyler french toast today. Kyler, who does not like eggs, ate THREE (3!) pieces. He then told Kevin, "Dad, keep the recipe, but next time, leave out the eggs."

Does that mean we're back to cinnamon toast?

I tangled with the blue monster. . .

and the blue monster won.

I live smack dab in the middle of the land of the blue monster. When I say blue monster, I am referring to that great big discount store that ends in "mart" and does not begin with a K. I am not a big fan of the blue monster. He and I have tangled before. Unfortunately, this is THE land of the blue monster, and there are very few alternatives--especially if your two nearest towns have less than 3,000 people.

The blue monster was beckoning at lunch time. It was calling for me to get a loaf of bread (or maybe that part was my husband calling to ask me to pick up a loaf of bread. . .details, details. . .) Somehow my fall tote that usually contains all Halloween and fall decorations has went missing. It's purple. It has my name on it. If you see it, please call 1-800-RACH-NEEDSME. I halfway remember this conversation where Kevin asks to borrow it. . .He does not.

I detoured by the conveniently located storage bins at the blue monster. The blue monster knows that normal people are taking down Christmas decorations now and looking for a better way to stow everything, so he's relocated this part to the front of the store. (My Christmas decorations are still up and will be till well after the first--don't judge!!) It was so easy. I found the one I wanted.

Oh, wait--THIS one. It's clear. I could SO see what I've got in it. . .

I grabbed the matching lid. It was easy. The lid was right above the tote. My biggest dilemma was. . .red or green? Hmm.

I have a serious love of the self check-out. It's fast. It's easy. And I'm all about both. Oh, wait. That was not how that was supposed to come out. . . I used the self check-out, and as I bent down to get my purchases, I noticed the lid did not fit right.

Hmm, that's odd. I'll ask the customer service/check-out policewoman right there.

"Ma'am, it doesn't matter. You've already paid for it. It's yours. Besides, it wouldn't close if it wasn't the right one."

Well. That clears that up. And y'all know I have issues with confrontation. . . .so. . .is anyone interested in a $12.00 tote that has a slightly ill-fitting lid? I'll make you a good deal on it.

BEWARE! The blue monster is not about customer service. He does not tell you that you are entering into a binding commitment when you purchase a tote. He does not care, and he does not play nice.

guaranteed to make you feel better about aunt fern!

It is no surprise to those of you familiar with one side of my family (hint: Not my dad's) that they are crazy. (Luckily, most of you are not familiar with them. . .until now.) True mental illness runs rampant through exactly 50% of our genes. (My mom is extremely sane, I should add, or she'll beat me!!) My grandmother died last January. We used to get together at her house for Christmas Eve. Back then, no one got along, but they tried. Upon Grandma's illness and death the peace was broken. The family has split. (I like to call the division the Crazies and the Un-Crazies, but that's just me.)

Family always mattered a great deal to Grandma. It has been really hard on my mom to not be close to her family. There is this sense of failure, knowing that Grandma was able to keep the peace for so long. I know of only one way to keep the peace now. Grandma would disagree, but family is who you choose. My life is too short to spend worrying about a bunch of crazy, trouble-hunting people that you (unfortunately) share DNA with. I would do anything for my family. They are everything to me, but only because I choose who "they" are.

OK, now you have the background. Let me tell you what happened last night. (And let me preface this by saying that Kev and I joke about EVERYTHING! Always have! It's what has kept us reasonably sane this long! Please do not be offended by the following exchange!)

Ever since finding out that my eccentric family members are not just eccentric but full-blown mentally-ill, as in schizophrenic, members of society, it has been my greatest fear that I would become one of them. Seriously.

Anyway, last night, I was asking Kevin if he would still love me if I went over the edge. He said, "Yes, and so will my next wife." I teared up. I couldn't take it. He asked me what was wrong. I said it might come true. He reminded me that we are always joking like that. I told him that in this case, it was a little too real. He laughed and said he would always be there. I reminded him that it didn't really matter, because I would probably have conversations with him either way. . .

See, your family holidays could be so much worse! Please keep that in mind this Christmas and know that we are wishing all of you a very merry Christmas!!! I will be back on Monday most likely. (Do you sense the commitment issues?)

cranky, cantankerous, and cynical

my mood.

and it's not pretty.

I was unaware that the c's behind my name (my professional designation) would eventually refer to the above.

I am in serious need of an attitude adjustment.

My husband is seriously hard to get along with. If this man doesn't go back to work soon, I may have to find him a job myself. Not to mention how delicate my job situation appears. . .

There's a so-called medical professional (I'm sure he was once fired from Wal-Mart's health clinics.), who insists upon getting his way when the patient, the insurance company, and the professional (me) insist he doesn't need or qualify for services. . .

And now it's raining and very cold. . .Y'all know I don't like cold weather.

so, what's new with you? Please make me laugh.

Have you heard the one about the two men who crash their plane on a deserted island? The first guy just knows they're going to die. The second guy says to relax--they'll be fine, because he makes $100,000 a week. The first guy looks around, sees nothing to eat, and knows they will die. Again, the second guy says, "Relax. We'll be fine. I make $100,000 a week." The first guy is convinced they are going to die, and his companion is in serious denial. He looks around one more time. He sees no food, no water, and no shelter. The second guy says, "Man, I am not telling you again. I make $100,000 a week. I always tithe. My pastor will find us."

There you go. I've now offended 1/2 of you and the other 1/2 quit reading when I started whining. I appear to be over it now, but again, all laughs are greatly appreciated.