at least she's trying to clean up after herself, right?

Kady stayed with Moo Moo yesterday. They went to Wal-Mart, where Moo Moo apparently walked in, raised her arms, and announced, "Choose anything you wish, my darling granddaughter." At least, that's the only possibility I can come up with, considering the variety of goods Kady brought home. There were the hair barrettes, and the new toothbrushes ("one for me and one for brother!"). Then, there were the snacks. . .

and Kady's all time favorite. . .
Both of which somehow found their way to the refrigerator, so in case you were worried, Kady's marshmallows and goldfish did not ruin over night. . .Not that she wants to share. : )

We R Redneck, edition 562

Through this blog, I've slowly allowed myself to accept the idea that I am, in fact, redneck. (You might remember THIS post. . .) Kevin has always readily admitted his redneck tendencies, which he has passed willingly and purposefully to our children. Want proof? In language arts, Kyler has been studying parts of speech. His teacher had them make a mobile of sorts in which the students named nouns. Kyler had the following nouns listed.

• His best friend
• Michael Waddell, a professional hunter who appears in most hunting videos that Kyler has watched
• tree stand
• the local tire shop
• Bass Pro Shops
• tom turkey
• coon

Kev is way more proud of this than I am. I am wondering where I went wrong. . .

what was he thinking?

Kyler's school is having a party for those children who met their reading goals in 3 out of 4 semesters. I am very proud to say that Kyler has met his goal in each semester so far. That makes me a little curious as to why he's suddenly trying so hard to make his goal in this last semester. I receive an email each time he takes a quiz over a book. Recently, he has started taking a quiz on every book he's ever read. . .or apparently, every book he's never read. This morning, I received this email. . .

Dear Rachel,

Kyler took an Accelerated Reader Reading Practice Quiz.
Title: El Capitán Calzoncillos y la invasión de las horribles señoras...
Author: Dav Pilkey
Score: 30% correct, earning 0.0 points

My son, the monolingual speaker. . .We obviously need to have a chat.

questions you don't ever want to ask

#1. What is that on the toilet seat?
#2. Why would there be popsicle juice on the toilet seat?

There was lots of fog this morning. Kady asked why we could see the sky this morning, which felt very reminiscent of Chicken Little screaming, "The sky is falling!"

26

Hubs rented a storage unit while we attempt to downsize in hopeful anticipation of putting our house on the market. (I think I'm the Queen of Clutter. . .) Anyway, I was worried I wouldn't be able to remember which unit was ours. . .until he told me the number. It's the same age I've been for the past 4 1/2 years! As long as I don't age, I should have no trouble remembering our storage unit!

my stinky child

What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs' tails,
That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And all that's nice,
That's what little girls are made of.

We've all heard the rhyme. I always thought it was a little bit of a disservice to little boys, but what do I know. . .After having a little boy AND a little girl, I can attest to the fact that they are completely different. Kyler is definitely ALL boy. And that? That can mean stinky, smelly, and gross.

I once again have a horrible smell emanating from my car. (The most embarrassing part of that sentence is the "once again".) Anyway, the last time I had this odor in my car, I found a mildewed, dirty, icky sock crammed way back under Kyler's seat. I'm still trying to locate this smell. . .As to what little boys are made of, I can't be sure, but I can assure you the smell is reproachable.

a rare romantic moment

We went canoeing this weekend--more about that later. As the shuttle (an old school bus) was taking us to the river, Kyler turned around and caught Kevin and I stealing a kiss. He asked, "Are you guys having a romantic moment back there or what?!" To which Kev replied, "We haven't had one of those in 9 long years. . ." ; )

how to sell jeans. . .eventually

So, I know I promised this a few, um, days weeks ago, so here goes for anyone still hanging around. . .

Background: Kevin was working in Shreveport. I went to visit, and Kev encouraged me to go shopping. . .My first stop was Cavendar's Western Wear, where I planned to purchase a pair of boots (I last purchased boots when I was 15. . .), a pair of jeans, and maybe a nice shirt to wear out that night.

The Cavendar's employee approached me just as I managed to knock over a display of boots. (Oh, yes I did!) The employee shall henceforth be referred to as CG (Cavendar's Girl). CG asked if I needed any help. Considering the last time I purchased boots and jeans, I was essentially a small person lighter, I thought another opinion might be helpful. After picking up the boot boxes and deciding on a pair to buy, CG asked what size jeans I wear. I answered xy.*

Her response?

"Oh, I don't think so. You don't look like an xy to me. You look smaller."

Although I appreciated her improvement as to my physical size and shape, I assured her I was, in fact, an xy. . .

so she brought me a size xu to try on. . .

and I couldn't get it past my knees.

She tried again with a size xx,

which was, of course, too small.

So, she finally returned with a size xy,

which was also too small. . .

To which she responded,

"OK, now you're my personal mission, and I will find you a pair of jeans that fits!"

And she did. . .

after approximately 45 minutes and untold pairs of jeans. I'm extremely satisfied with the fit of the jeans she sold me, and you can't argue with the personalized service; however, when a pleasantly plump woman announces she's a size xy, you should never, ever doubt that she's at least that size. . .

*and you're crazy if you think I would allow my size to be posted on the internet. . . : )

only I could. . .

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town.

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town on the way to take Kyler to school.

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town on the way to take Kyler to school on the very day that we're running late.

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town on the way to take Kyler to school on the very day that we're running late AND Kyler has his class field trip.

[sigh]

Yes, I am THAT mom. . .

*The very nice policeman gave me a verbal warning to slow down. This was far better than Kyler's fear of me getting a ticket for $7,000 and not being able to pay it. . .apparently, speeding tickets are costly in Paradise--who knew?!

sunny days update

Hello. I'm ba-ack! We'll see how long I manage to keep up this time. . .

We have been very busy in Paradise. Thanks to the beautiful weather, we've been spending evenings and weekends outside. . .doing anything BUT housework. Thus, my house looks as if it's been hit from a cyclone from the inside out but my yard is pretty.

We spent last weekend at Nana and Papa's riding horses. Since the horses hadn't been ridden all winter (and are young and less predictable), we took them to the nearby arena. I'm happy to say I didn't get to see just how soft the arena dirt was. Kyler and I rode with my brother for hours on Saturday and Sunday! [humming Back in the Saddle]

Kyler is quite a horseman these days. He spends the time on his horse day dreaming of one rodeo after another, but I'm just glad he's riding. We're even talking about going on some all-day trail rides this year.

Kady decided this year that she wants to be a cowgirl. She has ridden twice so far this year and is loving it. I'm so happy! She rode Kyler's horse in the arena on Saturday and did awesome!!! She does have a lot to learn, such as the lingo. I rode beside her on my horse, and my dad led her around on Kyler's horse. She looked over and said, "Mama, I like your seat," while pointing to my saddle. I said, "Thank you, Kady, but it's called a saddle." She said, "Mama, you're supposed to say 'I like your seat, too, Kady.'"

One more Kady-ism: When Nana was carrying her over to the horse, Kady looked down and yelled, "DON'T STEP ON THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS, NANA!" Thankfully, all of the dandelions were saved.