what was he thinking?

Kyler's school is having a party for those children who met their reading goals in 3 out of 4 semesters. I am very proud to say that Kyler has met his goal in each semester so far. That makes me a little curious as to why he's suddenly trying so hard to make his goal in this last semester. I receive an email each time he takes a quiz over a book. Recently, he has started taking a quiz on every book he's ever read. . .or apparently, every book he's never read. This morning, I received this email. . .

Dear Rachel,

Kyler took an Accelerated Reader Reading Practice Quiz.
Title: El Capitán Calzoncillos y la invasión de las horribles señoras...
Author: Dav Pilkey
Score: 30% correct, earning 0.0 points

My son, the monolingual speaker. . .We obviously need to have a chat.

only I could. . .

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town.

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town on the way to take Kyler to school.

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town on the way to take Kyler to school on the very day that we're running late.

Only I could get stopped for speeding in the middle of our small town on the way to take Kyler to school on the very day that we're running late AND Kyler has his class field trip.

[sigh]

Yes, I am THAT mom. . .

*The very nice policeman gave me a verbal warning to slow down. This was far better than Kyler's fear of me getting a ticket for $7,000 and not being able to pay it. . .apparently, speeding tickets are costly in Paradise--who knew?!

A Public School Presidential Education

There are many people who question our current educational system. Arkansas, in particular, has had many recent changes in hopes of improving our state’s ability to teach our children what they need to succeed. Being a graduate of this great state’s educational system myself, I never really doubted my son would receive an adequate education (with the possible exception of doing math in my head—I still can’t do that. . .). Recently, I’ve come to question what exactly he is learning. It seems Kyler has confused this man. . .

With this man. . .

That’s right. He thought Abraham Lincoln was Elvis. What ARE they teaching him?

This post is intended as a joke. It is in no way intended to be a reflection on Kyler's current or former teachers, who by and large, have been phenomenal!

question of the day

Creepy or friendly: "friending" your son's teacher on Facebook?

Just wonderin'. : )

my little (big) man

Kyler started 3rd grade on Wednesday. His teacher is a "hottie," in case you're wondering. He'll probably need three years of therapy when he finds out I quoted him about that on my blog. . .Oh, well, it won't be the only thing he needs therapy about.

Back to school. As a mom who works full time, I was really sad to see summer end this year. I miss getting to stay up later watching movies or taking a day off to go swimming, etc. (Not that we actually did much of that, but the option was there, ya' know?) However, I think 3rd grade is going to be a great year for my little (big) man. He came home yesterday and said, "It was AWESOME!" Praise from an 8-year-old does not get better than that.

When I dropped Kyler off at school this morning, my little (big) man asked me to walk him into his class one last time. It truly may be the last time, because I know that soon he won't want me to do anything for him. Having your mother walk in with you will be SO humiliating (with accompanying eye roll, if he's anything like I was. . .Note to self: Have I said sorry today to my parents?) I'm really surprised he allowed it now. This is the same child that began dressing himself at 2 1/2 years of age and taught HIMSELF how to ride a bike without training wheels. (There was a longer wait at the baby sitter's house for the bike with training wheels, so one day, he worked and he worked and he fell down and he worked and he fell down and he. . .until he could ride a bike without training wheels.)

I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to walk in with him this morning, but I'm grateful for these days--these days when I see that flicker of the little boy that he will always be to me. God truly blessed me when he gave me my little (big) man.

We can read!

A wondrous thing happened this weekend. We went to church on Sunday--which is a wondrous thing, in and of itself, but that is not what this blog post is about. We were driving along and Kady asked Kev to read a book to her. Since he was driving and not as adept at multitasking as Mom (I jest--mostly), he felt it would be safer for Kyler to read the book. Kyler read the book aloud to his sister while we were driving down the road. A pretty ordinary thing perhaps. An everyday occurrence, some might say. A wondrous, magical thing if you thought it would never happen.

If you've been around here awhile, you might remember THIS post. In it, I detailed finding out that my son basically could not read. . .at least not well enough. I am so happy and proud to say that he is reading 4th grade books the summer before he enters 3rd grade. He made tremendous progress this year (with the help of The-Best-Teacher-in-the-Whole-Wide-World) and now (sometimes) enjoys reading! This is our answer to prayer. God is good.

it's that time again. . .

SCHOOL BOOK FAIR!! I've always loved the school book fair. . .all those brand new books. . .the choices. . .

Well, I don't know if you've been lately, but school librarians are very deserving of your prayers right now. I'm not sure what the average school librarian makes, but they should have a combat pay clause just for book fairs. Those kids are nuts! There's mini people all over the library waving books and shouting (yes, in a library) and talking to their friends and holding books and laughing and touching all the stuff on the dollar table. It's enough to send my blood pressure through the roof, apparently. . .(more on that later)

Lesson of the day: NEVER schedule a doctor's visits after a visit to a book fair and NEVER even think about substituting for a school librarian--especially during book fair week!!

you eat WHAT?!

This is yet another fine example of how redneck we really are.

(Note the "healthful meat" section.)

For the record, I don't think my son has actually eaten squirrel, but as previously admitted to, his mother has. . .

well, we're off to a great start. . .

Y'all. If only I were kidding. . .

Dear President Obama,
Ever since my son learned that you smoke, he has been obsessed. He tells everyone that our president smokes. He usually adds that you're trying to quit. This is important to him. You see, his father smokes, and he would like for him to quit. My husband has smoked ever since we met. He has tried to quit, but he has been less than successful. He does not smoke around the kids, but he does smoke. He also occasionally has a beer. He honestly drinks very little.

I told you this in an attempt to explain. You will soon be receiving letters from my son's class. They were encouraged to write to you about anything. When you receive my son's letter, please understand that when he tells you to get rid of the drugs so his daddy "won't drink beer and do drugs anymore", he is talking about smoking cigarettes. . .and only cigarettes. I promise. I understand this could be construed as something far more serious, but truthfully, we do not do drugs. You have my word.

I am sorry for any misunderstanding this may have caused and would understand if you feel the need to invite my son to the White House so that you might check things out for yourself. (Just sayin'.) Please understand that my son should come with a warning. We are thinking about

Please understand that the views expressed by this child do not necessarily represent the views of his parents.

or (especially in this case)

Please double check all facts with this child's mother or other family members before contacting any authorities. . .

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Just Another Day in Paradise

Not exactly a match made in heaven

Kyler's class has been learning the art of writing letters. Each day, one child was chosen and everyone else wrote a letter to that student. When finished, the letters were bundled and sent home with the students. It was so much fun to read what each student wrote to my son. They ranged from the mundane:
Dear Kyler,
Do you like anims (animals)? Whel, I do do you. Kyler you are cool. I think you should which (watch) Old Yeler.

Love,
HP

to the very sweet:
Dear Kyler,
I am so glad that you are in my class this year. What are you going to be when you grow up. I think you should be an artes (artist) when you grow up. You would be good. I think you should be famous because you are very smart.

Your Friend,
RP

to the hilarious:
Dear Kyler,
I know we are the best artists in the class. But we shouldn't brag on our selfs. What are you going to be when you grow up? I think you should be a Artist Because that's what I'm going to be. What are you going to be if you don't do that? Are you going to make bibles? Do you like Mrs. [our teacher's name]? I think you should like her more. Have a great day.

Your friend,
MJ

and there's this one:
written in the most prim, neat handwriting you can imagine
Dear Kyler,
I know we don't always get along that well. Don't you like to read books about animals? I love writing poems I want to do some again! Do you like to write poems? If you don't you should because you can do a lot of writing and it's like practicing your handwriting. Poems are very, very fun to write. The 1 poem that you wrote about "We all scream for winter clothes" that poem is really good. Do you like math? I do because you can do adding, subtracting, and times tables and a lot of other things. You have been very good in class.

Your friend,
EC

Hmm, after reading that last one, I can't imagine why my fun-loving, school-hating son doesn't always get along with her. . .Can you? And, please, no comments about how I would have been the last one when I was in school! : )

Confident? Not yet.

Kyler has had difficulty with school. There--I said it. He has made tremendous progress this year. We just received his report card for the first semester. He had improved EVERY subject (except Social Studies, which was already a 97%).

Last night, Kevin and I told him how proud we were of him. We told him how great he had done, what great grades he had, and how hard we knew he had worked. He looked at us with a VERY serious expression on his face and said, "Are you sure that report card is mine?"

I refrained from replying, "Yes, honey, I'm sure. No one else has that many tardies. . ."

sodas again?

The blogging has been a little slow this week. It's my job. . .If you people would stay out of the hospital during the holidays, it would sure make me less busy. . . : ) Seriously kidding. Everyone stay safe and healthy this holiday season!!

Snow days delayed the "what are you bringing to the school Christmas party" memo that we usually get. Instead, we got a note home on Tuesday asking us to note what we were bringing. I forgot to send it back on Wednesday, so we just went and bought Reese's Christmas trees to take. (I let Kyler pick out what he wanted to take.)

Today is the Christmas party. Last night after dark, on the way home, Kyler stated he might have told Mrs. Teacher-whom-we-love that he was bringing sodas. And she might have said that would be a good thing to bring. (Why do I always get the soda job?)

"Is anyone else bringing sodas," I asked.

"I dunno," he said.

I called the teacher. . .at home. I hate doing that. I feel like I'm intruding on her personal life. (Usually I call my friend who's a teacher, because she expects me to intrude. . .Big Shout Out to Paula!!!)

I repeated the above conversation to Kyler's teacher and she laughed. She said she had 2 other kids bringing sodas (so they say. . .) and we didn't need to unless we wanted to.

I sent the Reese's. Who knows what else they wind up with.

And now, I'm headed for a weekend away with my husband, who may or may not have almost cut his fingers off last night (more info later). . .I am SSSSOOOOOO ready for a stress-free holiday shopping excursion. (You're laughing at "stress-free," "holiday," and "shopping" in the same sentence, aren't you?)