sunny days update

Hello. I'm ba-ack! We'll see how long I manage to keep up this time. . .

We have been very busy in Paradise. Thanks to the beautiful weather, we've been spending evenings and weekends outside. . .doing anything BUT housework. Thus, my house looks as if it's been hit from a cyclone from the inside out but my yard is pretty.

We spent last weekend at Nana and Papa's riding horses. Since the horses hadn't been ridden all winter (and are young and less predictable), we took them to the nearby arena. I'm happy to say I didn't get to see just how soft the arena dirt was. Kyler and I rode with my brother for hours on Saturday and Sunday! [humming Back in the Saddle]

Kyler is quite a horseman these days. He spends the time on his horse day dreaming of one rodeo after another, but I'm just glad he's riding. We're even talking about going on some all-day trail rides this year.

Kady decided this year that she wants to be a cowgirl. She has ridden twice so far this year and is loving it. I'm so happy! She rode Kyler's horse in the arena on Saturday and did awesome!!! She does have a lot to learn, such as the lingo. I rode beside her on my horse, and my dad led her around on Kyler's horse. She looked over and said, "Mama, I like your seat," while pointing to my saddle. I said, "Thank you, Kady, but it's called a saddle." She said, "Mama, you're supposed to say 'I like your seat, too, Kady.'"

One more Kady-ism: When Nana was carrying her over to the horse, Kady looked down and yelled, "DON'T STEP ON THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS, NANA!" Thankfully, all of the dandelions were saved.

Thought for the Day

Family:

God gave us the family we have, because He knew that's the only way we'd associate with those people. . .

Feel free to discuss. : )

And no, I don't hate my family. I LOVE most of my family. I just don't count some of those people I'm related to as family. . . : )

rambling notes from my christmas card list

Hello, all. Welcome back. Where ya' been? Me? Well, I was on the brink of death from some no-name, pathetic little virus. Did I get sick with the "real" flu bug going around. Nope. I managed to get really, really sick from your everyday virus. I'm an over-achiever that way.

Moving on.

It's time to send out my Christmas cards! I always moan and groan about doing this. I complain about having to pick out a card, and gripe about the trouble of rounding up all the addresses. (I always need an address. My address book consists of a bundle of envelopes scavenged from last year's cards and tucked in my never-opened scrap booking tote. . .)

The truth is that I actually LIKE getting Christmas cards. It's fun to open the mailbox and see a note handwritten by someone you know (and usually like!). Unfortunately, I discovered last year that my mailman IS authorized to deliver something besides bills and junk mail. Heretofore, I had simply blamed him for my lack of written Yuletide Sentiments. . .After stumbling upon my mother's stash of cards, I learned the truth: my family and friends do know how to send cards and are sending cards. . .just not to me. (Hey, S, Mom got your card! It was SO cute. I wish I had gotten one after sending you one for ELEVEN years straight. . .)

Anyway, this year, my new motto is "you gotta send one to get one." I'll keep you updated as to the progress. However, if you've been here long, you know I like to break rules, so I've already added a few new people to the list. Utilizing the old and new list, here are a few observations thus far. . .

• I am an eternal optimist. After years of knowing better, I will try for the "perfect" photo card EACH and EVERY year.
• We can't take a decent family picture.
• If you manage to get both kids looking at the camera, cover the bare feet, and hide (most of) the clutter, your camera will be out of focus.
• In. Every. Photo. completely out of focus. . .
• I know two people who live on Nottinghill. . .in different states.
• I know one person on Bearberry, which is just downright fun to say.
• My mailing region is rather small, even with the addition of 3 new states.
• The coldest place my card will be travelling: Minnesota.
• The warmest place: Texas or Alabama.
• Of course, the idea of a Hog fan's Christmas card travelling to Crimson Tide country could cause catastrophic weather conditions. . .

Do you want to join in on the Christmas card fun? Just drop me an email (rlkendr at yahoo dot com) with your address. Now, I want to know your Christmas card traditions. . .

where I completely jump the gun

In an effort to be completely new and unlike anyone else, I'll update you on what's going on in my life. Mom and Dad are getting older. You've read how Dad gave us quite a scare a few weeks ago. (It turns out it was his birthday that week, and he was feeling a little overlooked. Just kidding, but he did spend his birthday in the hospital's cardiac care unit. . .blech.) Mom and Dad have a farm. They have cattle and horses. Dad is looking to sell the cattle, but he will probably keep a few horses. My brother has been doing most of the farm work over the last couple of years. He's fairly newly married (about 2 years) with a fairly new job and will soon have 2 kiddos to chase after. He's busy with his own life, and I'm not sure how long he'll live near our parents.

Enter me.

Kevin, the kids, and I went to Mom and Dad's last weekend. We picked out a place to BUILD OUR HOUSE!! We are absolutely, positively, completely in LOVE with fifty acres to the north and west of my parents. I'm so excited, but unfortunately, I'm jumping the gun a little. First, we have to sell our house. Then, we have to get all of our ducks in a row. Finally in eighteen (!) months or so, we'll get to build. . . Kevin would be embarrassed if he even knew I was already blogging about this. (Luckily, he doesn't read my blog. . .)

Now, I'll be near enough to Mom and Dad to help out. I can be there if they need me. It's going to be much easier than driving 30 minutes from work to their house and then an hour from their house to my house. We will be far enough to give each other some privacy, but I hope they're looking forward to this as much as I am!!

That's all folks. No pictures (yet). No floor plans yet. No house on the market, even. Let's all pray that everything moves quickly, or I'm going to be a nervous wreck!!

If you follow Queen B (and who doesn't?!), you know she's currently building a house. Let's keep this copy cat post to ourselves, shall we?

tv. . . or the lack of it

We don't have a satellite or cable at our house. We have the old "rabbit ears" antenna that sits on our little 23" or so tv. Therefore, we've been without tv for a week or so now. Our two tv channels went digital with everyone else's, and we were left watching dvd reruns. It was fun to rewatch some of our old favorite movies, but there's only so many times a person can watch Indiana Jones, ya know?

Last night, I finally went to buy our digital converter box that the government has been peddling for eighteen months or so. (I'm still peeved that I had to buy it. . .) Now, we get three educational channels, ABC, and the CW. Kady and Kyler are thrilled at one of the educational channels, because it plays nothing but shows for kids. As Kyler said, "Cool! We get the Cartoon Network now!" I may be stunting my children's worldly knowledge, but that's not such a bad thing, right?

Families, Funerals, and Buffalo Herds

Families...well, I think it's at least obvious that most of us don't choose ours. Most of you are aware that I went to a funeral last week. I went with my hard-of-hearing mom and my all-but-deaf father. If it had not been a somber affair, their behavior would have been enough to make me laugh. Instead, I was transported back to my teenage years--you know, the "embarrassed by your parents" years.

My cousin, Theresa sat 2 rows in front of us. At least, my mom was sure that's who that was. In a loud stage whisper, she kept saying, "Theresa, Theresa, Theresa!" this went on several times before she leaned over to me and said, " you know, Theresa is deaf in one ear. I bet it's this ear." Gee, um, ya think?

My dad leaned over frequently and said things like, "who's that man in the blue shirt?" I'm surprised the man in the blue shirt didn't answer--I know he heard him...

The only thing distracting me from my parents (thank goodness there was something!) was the funeral etiquette of some of these (mostly unknown to me) people. While I feel that jeans and ratty t-shirts are questionable funeral attire, I respect the individual right to wear what you choose. I am sure the actual attendance was what was important, and if you choose to attend my funeral adorned in t-shirts or even clown suits that will be fine with me.

However, if you frequently get up and down and go in and out at my funeral, I WILL come back and haunt you. There is no excuse for disruptive behavior--outside of a medical one, and if that applies, you should make yourself as inconspicuous as possible (sit in the back, be quiet entering and exiting, etc.). There were times my rogue herd of buffalo would have been less distracting!

Consider yourself warned...and if you forget, my dad will remind you...loudly. : )

PSHAW!! I don't need no stinkin' filing system!

I'm not sure how we'll do on our taxes this year. Kevin started a new career, after all.

However, with a filing system like his, how can we go wrong?!

guaranteed to make you feel better about aunt fern!

It is no surprise to those of you familiar with one side of my family (hint: Not my dad's) that they are crazy. (Luckily, most of you are not familiar with them. . .until now.) True mental illness runs rampant through exactly 50% of our genes. (My mom is extremely sane, I should add, or she'll beat me!!) My grandmother died last January. We used to get together at her house for Christmas Eve. Back then, no one got along, but they tried. Upon Grandma's illness and death the peace was broken. The family has split. (I like to call the division the Crazies and the Un-Crazies, but that's just me.)

Family always mattered a great deal to Grandma. It has been really hard on my mom to not be close to her family. There is this sense of failure, knowing that Grandma was able to keep the peace for so long. I know of only one way to keep the peace now. Grandma would disagree, but family is who you choose. My life is too short to spend worrying about a bunch of crazy, trouble-hunting people that you (unfortunately) share DNA with. I would do anything for my family. They are everything to me, but only because I choose who "they" are.

OK, now you have the background. Let me tell you what happened last night. (And let me preface this by saying that Kev and I joke about EVERYTHING! Always have! It's what has kept us reasonably sane this long! Please do not be offended by the following exchange!)

Ever since finding out that my eccentric family members are not just eccentric but full-blown mentally-ill, as in schizophrenic, members of society, it has been my greatest fear that I would become one of them. Seriously.

Anyway, last night, I was asking Kevin if he would still love me if I went over the edge. He said, "Yes, and so will my next wife." I teared up. I couldn't take it. He asked me what was wrong. I said it might come true. He reminded me that we are always joking like that. I told him that in this case, it was a little too real. He laughed and said he would always be there. I reminded him that it didn't really matter, because I would probably have conversations with him either way. . .

See, your family holidays could be so much worse! Please keep that in mind this Christmas and know that we are wishing all of you a very merry Christmas!!! I will be back on Monday most likely. (Do you sense the commitment issues?)

We're Weird. (There, I said it.)

I wrote the following post a few weeks ago but never posted it. As I face a very difficult professional decision, I reread this post and decided to share it. Again, I'm not sure I've managed to verbalize what I want. . .


Our family situation is different than most. I enter this blog with some trepidation, fearing that I won't be able to say this as I want to (more so than with most posts. . .). If you've read my profile, you know Kevin works away from home. You may have wondered about this. So did we. We asked ourselves if this was really what Kevin needed to do, if this was what God had in mind. We prayed, I fasted over this decision. How could God take Kevin away from us? What sense did it make for a father to leave his children and go to work in Florida (at that time). God kept saying, "wait, just wait." I began to feel Him working on both of us. It still makes no sense to most people (and to us, if we're honest) that the father of my children is gone more often than he's home. That said, let me tell you a little something about our life prior to Kevin's change of career.


I have spent more nights falling asleep by myself than with my husband. Way more nights falling asleep alone. Kevin has worked nights since he was in college. There have been brief changes to this schedule, and he has worked many different schedules (3 1/2, 12 hour shifts; salary from 1 or 2 pm-ish to ?midnight or 1 am Tues-Sat, 3-12-ish different days of the week. . .the list goes on). We never saw him, and when we did, he was more concerned about catching up on his sleep or adjusting to being up during the day. We fought way more than we should. He felt guilty about not being with us. I made him feel guilty about being home with us. He worried about bringing home enough money to support us. (During part of this time, I was in graduate school, which means I contributed zilch to the income.)

Then, in 2006, we suffered such pain. Kev's step-sister lost her husband. Kev's dad passed away. Bad enough, right? Then, the crushing blow. Kevin's best friend was murdered. He was here one minute, with Kevin giving him a hard time about his job (they worked together). Then, he was gone. Dead, just like that. He left behind a wonderful wife and 4 beautiful, smart, funny kids. Slowly, as Kevin came out of this grief (Do we ever actually recover from grief? I'm not sure.), I began to see changes. Little ones at first, but they meant so much to me. He would take Kyler with him more. He would include me more. We would do stuff as a family.

During this time, things began to change at this job. He still worked with a great bunch of guys. Changes, as they are apt to do, were made that were not best for our family. He began to feel himself pulled in a different direction. He kept looking at different options. He talked to me about these options. I guess i should say that WE talked about these options. We had all the same questions that well-meaning friends and family have asked us repeatedly. "Why does he have to go so far?" "Has he thought about ______?" "What about ______________?" Couldn't he just ____________?"

I guess what I am trying to say is that our life is not be normal. It never has been. This current job situation is something that I wish will be temporary. I wish that some day, Kevin will be able to work close to home on an 8-5 or so job. However, until that time comes, we are satisfied (at least 90% of the time. . .) with the current situation. We currently get to see Kevin every weekend. When we do see him, he is all about family. He plays with the kids. He has more patience with them. He is tired, but he's on a "normal" schedule. It's something we can handle.

And those months in Florida? They taught me that I can do it. I may not do it well, and I can not do it without family and friend support, but I can exist without Kevin to depend upon. As for Kevin, he learned again just how important his wife and kids are to him. He values us more.

I did not write this post in an effort to elicit sympathy, etc, from anyone. It is my feeble attempt to explain my family's circumstances and the decisions we've made, with a great deal of caution and prayer, I might add.

Now, I pray that God will lead us and direct us as to the path He wishes us to take. I pray that I will truly give this over to Him and trust Him fully, in whatever path He leads us on.

We're Weird. (There, I said it.)

I wrote the following post a few weeks ago but never posted it. As I face a very difficult professional decision, I reread this post and decided to share it. Again, I'm not sure I've managed to verbalize what I want. . .

Our family situation is different than most. I enter this blog with some trepidation, fearing that I won't be able to say this as I want to (more so than with most posts. . .). If you've read my profile, you know Kevin works away from home. You may have wondered about this. So did we. We asked ourselves if this was really what Kevin needed to do, if this was what God had in mind. We prayed, I fasted over this decision. How could God take Kevin away from us? What sense did it make for a father to leave his children and go to work in Florida (at that time). God kept saying, "wait, just wait." I began to feel Him working on both of us. It still makes no sense to most people (and to us, if we're honest) that the father of my children is gone more often than he's home. That said, let me tell you a little something about our life prior to Kevin's change of career.

I have spent more nights falling asleep by myself than with my husband. Way more nights falling asleep alone. Kevin has worked nights since he was in college. There have been brief changes to this schedule, and he has worked many different schedules (3 1/2, 12 hour shifts; salary from 1 or 2 pm-ish to ?midnight or 1 am Tues-Sat, 3-12-ish different days of the week. . .the list goes on). We never saw him, and when we did, he was more concerned about catching up on his sleep or adjusting to being up during the day. We fought way more than we should. He felt guilty about not being with us. I made him feel guilty about being home with us. He worried about bringing home enough money to support us. (During part of this time, I was in graduate school, which means I contributed zilch to the income.) Then, in 2006, we suffered such pain. Kev's step-sister lost her husband. Kev's dad passed away. Bad enough, right? Then, the crushing blow. Kevin's best friend was murdered. He was here one minute, with Kevin giving him a hard time about his job (they worked together). Then, he was gone. Dead, just like that. He left behind a wonderful wife and 4 beautiful, smart, funny kids. Slowly, as Kevin came out of this grief (Do we ever actually recover from grief? I'm not sure.), I began to see changes. Little ones at first, but they meant so much to me. He would take Kyler with him more. He would include me more. We would do stuff as a family.

During this time, things began to change at this job. He still worked with a great bunch of guys. Changes, as they are apt to do, were made that were not best for our family. He began to feel himself pulled in a different direction. He kept looking at different options. He talked to me about these options. I guess i should say that WE talked about these options. We had all the same questions that well-meaning friends and family have asked us repeatedly. "Why does he have to go so far?" "Has he thought about ______?" "What about ______________?" Couldn't he just ____________?"


I guess what I am trying to say is that our life may not be normal. It never has been. This current job situation is something that I wish will be temporary. I wish that some day, Kevin will be able to work close to home on an 8-5 or so job. However, until that time comes, we are satisfied (at least 90% of the time. . .) with the current situation. We currently get to see Kevin every weekend. When we do see him, he is all about family. He plays with the kids. He has more patience with them. He is tired, but he's on a "normal" schedule. It's something we can handle.


And those months in Florida? They taught me that I can do it. I may not do it well, and I can not do it without family and friend support, but I can exist without Kevin to depend upon. As for Kevin, he learned again just how important his wife and kids are to him. He values us more.
This post is not intended to elicit sympathy, etc, from anyone. It is my feeble way to explain my family and the decisions we've made, with a great deal of caution and prayer, I might add.

Now, I pray that God will lead us and direct us as to the path He wishes us to take. I pray that I will truly give this over to Him and trust Him fully, in whatever path He leads us on.