going the wrong way

You may have heard the news. I started this whole "get healthy" kick. I've been jogging and lifting weight and eating healthy. It's been rather dramatic thus far. First there was the lack of weight loss. Then, there was the frustration. Eventually, there were shin splints. Finally, there is the lack of weight loss.

Did I mention the lack of weight loss?

I went to the doctor Wednesday. It turns out this whole "getting healthy" kick is bad for my health. You want proof? My blood pressure has always been normal. Yesterday, it was high. HIGH. How can that be? I feel like I'm in an elaborate candid camera/punked episode. . .In fact, the entire doctor's visit felt that way.


The doctor told me not to worry about things that I can't control. . .like my parents' health. After all, they might not make it much longer. (He is not their doctor.) To lose weight, you should park at the far end of the parking lot. . .Did I mention I was walking/jogging 2.5-3 miles every other day?


Remember how they always have to take my blood from my hand? Well, fifteen minutes later, this lab tech felt she should [sigh] try my hand, although [sigh] that vein didn't look very promising either. (What am I--an ex-addict or something? How did I win the bad vein lottery? And why is she complaining? She's not the one about to be stuck with a needle and told it probably will hurt and have to be repeated. . .)


I went to pay my bill, and there was a huge commotion. Apparently, my doctor forgot to charge me (darn) and when he did, he charged me for a lab procedure that no one knew how to charge me for. . .

I'm pretty sure getting healthy and visits to the doctor are doing nothing good for my blood pressure. In fact, this whole "getting healthy" thing may kill me!